Recently, I have come to
the conclusion that my thesis even though i have made revisions still needed
some work. It was still too general and would have set me up to write a
"information dump" essay, which is not the point of the essay.
Therefore I changed it to "what legislative, health/safety, and corporate
changes should be made to the fast food industry as a result of their neglect
to cater to animal rights." I feel that this thesis give my essay some
direction and now it will actually have a point if I can properly write it. I
do know that this is still not a perfect thesis and I do want it to be better,
but I am having trouble improving on it. I would be very thankful if I could
get feedback from my peers, giving me some new ideas or suggestions,
to ultimately improve my thesis, so I can write the best essay
possible. Thanks everyone
Hey Kevin,
ReplyDeleteLooking through your blogs your thesis is improving and has turned into a more researchable question. The one thing I have noticed about your question is that it seems a little long. You have listed four different types of changes such as legislative, health, safety, and corporate changes. Maybe narrowing this by only choosing one or two of these concerns would make it easier to write your topic. You would be able to have a more specific and narrow idea of what you’re going to write. That’s just my advice. Hope it helps